April 1, 2015

An open letter to the entire team of My body, My Mind, My choice!




Oh! I so loved the way this video was taken. Unconventional and Eccentric. My favorite scene in the video has to be the last one with Deepika’s hair acting against the gravity quoting ‘I am the universe Infinite in every direction.’ I loved most of the lyrics but the ones I despised were probably the ones that if fine-tuned could make a deeper impact.

I totally approve when the video claims that the clothes you wear or the size you are, is all your own choice. This makes total sense because there have been many occasions when I have dressed as expected by others and ended up feeling annoyed at them and myself. I have already come to an understanding that their mind is caged and that I will not let mine be, despite knowing that this is a struggle that I will have to endure.

One’s partner is one’s choice. Irrespective of the fact that you are a Female, Male or a third gender, whom you choose as your partner is totally your choice. The gender of the person you love or you will marry too is your choice. People will have opinions, suggestions and advice but the bottom-line is that it is always your choice.

I am on the same page as you when you state that the Bindi, the surname change (Which I never did and was never asked to) are all signs of oppression. There are girls who are happy doing it, go ahead. But do not judge the women who do not abide by it. I don’t trust that my husband’s well-being is decided by the ornament I wear on my neck. Because if that is so, it should apply to him. The chain exchanged in the wedding should decide the fate of both. Why mine alone? These are just not my cup of tea. If it is yours. Drink it. I will never judge you.

Getting married or not; Being in a live-in or not; having a baby after marriage or not having it at all, is certainly a choice. But, never mine alone. It is also my partner’s. Love and respect is of relevance too, isn't it? This is where the video went wrong.
If it is my choice to have an affair outside my marriage, what in the world will stop him?
If I choose to love him temporarily, what role does honesty play in a relationship?
If he is my choice out of 7 billion, why am I forgetting that I need to be chosen by him too?

I might be the urban woman who do not believe in the Bindi and Mangalsutra ways. But, that doesn't shake my belief from the institution of marriage. If I demand to be respected and loved, I owe the same to my partner. There is no second thought about it. I cannot have my ways and call him a male chauvinist when he tries to have his own. 

On one hand, Mr Homi Adjania, chose to make a movie like Cocktail which proclaims that a guy is the one who always chooses. Out of the two, he chooses the girl who doesn't really make her own choices as opposed to the one who is tagged outrageous for living life her way. And on the other hand, he makes a video like this for Vogue that it is all about the choices of a woman. Or, so he claims. There is a lengthy celebrity list who rendered their support to this video and some have told all who oppose this video to ‘go get a life’. Seriously??? I am not trying to bring in any emotional point of Indian culture in here. It doesn't matter to anybody how many people you have a relationship with or the number of people you marry. But, it does matter to that partner of yours. You are accountable and loyal to him just as much as he is liable. 


I was worried if this women empowerment jargon was off late becoming more of a statement than a serious social concern. With the above video, my fears have become a reality. There is a rebellious wave that is generated in the social media that I have been noting. All of a sudden, everybody seems to have an opinion on everything, which is good, but only if done with thorough introspection. Videos like this, doesn't make any sense and would only lead to a downfall with our youth believing in it.

It is indeed my body, my mind and my choice. But, why overlook his preferences calling it women empowerment?
If I, expect to be treated right, I got to treat him correct too.
If I, expect to be given freedom, I have to know what it essentially means.
If I, expect to have a loyal partner, I need to learn that there somewhere lies a give and seek policy to it.

As far as individual self is concerned, nothing can come in the way of your video but when you talk relationship there are two parties and mutual consent is essential. The video missed the crux, when it spoke of relationships or marriage. Loyalty, Honesty, Respect are all the foundations. You do not necessarily have to be a Man or a Woman to abide by it. 

Feminism is never ever about demeaning the other gender, but about ensuring both of them have equal privileges.

P.S: Lots of articles are written attacking Deepika Padukone. Just want to bring it to your notice that she is just one of the 99 faces you see in the video. Do not hold her alone responsible. 


-HPK!!!